Helping Grandparents to Pray

There are lots of things we can do for our grandchildren.

We can take them out for the day, buy them ice cream, listen to their stories, read books, play games, attend school concerts and football matches and occasionally wonder how on earth they can possibly have so much energy!

But there is one thing we can do for them that doesn't depend on where they live, how old they are, whether they want to listen to us or even whether we see them very often.

We can pray.

And perhaps prayer is one of the greatest gifts we can give our grandchildren.

Our own journey into Christian grandparenting began during the Covid pandemic. Like many grandparents, we suddenly found ourselves separated from our grandchildren. We tried to be creative by sending puzzles and games, reading stories together over FaceTime and finding ways to stay connected.

But underneath all that activity was a growing realisation that we wanted to do more than simply keep in touch. We wanted to make a difference. We began asking God what His purpose might be for us as grandparents. One thing became increasingly clear. We could pray.

Not just the occasional “Lord, please look after them” , although there is absolutely nothing wrong with that prayer! We began discovering the richness of praying specifically for our grandchildren: for their character, friendships, choices, protection, future and, most importantly, that they would come to know Jesus.

That discovery has become central to our ministry with Christian grandparents.

Prayer changes us too

One of the surprising things we have discovered is that praying for our grandchildren doesn't just potentially change them, it changes us.

Instead of worrying quite so much about what they are doing, we can bring those concerns to God. Instead of feeling helpless when we are a long way away, we discover that we can still be actively involved in their lives.

Instead of thinking, “I wish I could do something,” we realised that we can pray.

Perhaps you have a grandchild struggling at school. Pray.

Perhaps they are making new friends. Pray.

Perhaps they are approaching their teenage years and you are wondering how their faith will develop. Pray.

Perhaps they have drifted away from church. Pray.

Perhaps they have absolutely no interest in faith whatsoever. Pray.

What should we pray?

This is where we can sometimes get stuck. We naturally pray for our grandchildren's circumstances: “Please help them with their exams,” “Please keep them safe on holiday,” or “Please help them make friends.”

Those are good prayers. But Scripture encourages us to pray more deeply. Paul's prayers in the New Testament have been a great inspiration to us. He often prayed not simply for circumstances to change, but for people to grow in their relationship with God.

So we can pray for their character, that they will grow in kindness, honesty, courage, compassion and perseverance.

We can pray for their relationships, that they will choose good friends and learn how to love and forgive.

We can pray for their decisions, that they will have wisdom and recognise what is right, even when others are going in another direction.

We can pray for their protection -  physically, emotionally and spiritually.

And we can pray for their faith that they will encounter Jesus for themselves and grow in a genuine relationship with Him.

Perhaps we can even pray: “Lord, please show me how I can be part of answering this prayer.”

Because prayer isn't an excuse for doing nothing. Sometimes God answers our prayers by giving us something to do.

Start small

If you're not used to praying regularly for your grandchildren, don't feel you have to become a prayer warrior overnight.

Start with one grandchild and choose one particular thing to pray about.

Perhaps pray for five minutes each morning or pray while you're making your morning coffee. Put a photograph of your grandchild somewhere you'll see it regularly as a reminder.

One grandmother we know prays for a different grandchild on each day of the week. Another keeps a notebook with the names of her grandchildren and specific things she is praying about.

And there is nothing wrong with praying while you're driving, although obviously keep your eyes open!

Prayer doesn't have to sound impressive. God isn't looking for beautifully constructed sentences. He is interested in our hearts.

Pray Scripture

One of the most helpful things we have discovered is praying the Bible for our grandchildren.

Colossians 2:6–7 says: “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him…”

We can turn that into a simple prayer: “Lord Jesus, please help my grandchild to become rooted in you. Help them to grow strong in their faith and to know how much you love them.”

We can do the same with Paul's prayers in Philippians and Ephesians, asking God to give our grandchildren wisdom, understanding, love and a growing knowledge of Him.

It takes the pressure off us to think of something new every day as God has already given us words to pray.

Don't forget to pray for yourself

Being a grandparent can be wonderful, but it can also be complicated.

We may have different values from our children. We may disagree with some of their decisions. We may have grandchildren who live hundreds of miles away. We may see them every week or only a few times a year.

And sometimes we can be tempted to think, “If only they would listen to me!”

We've both had moments when we've remembered that our grandchildren already have parents and they probably don't need another set of them! Our role is different.

So we can pray:

“Lord, give me wisdom to know when to speak and when to remain quiet.”

“Help me to be encouraging rather than critical.”

“Help me to model my faith rather than simply talk about it.”

And perhaps one of our most important prayers should be: “Lord, help me to love them well.”

What if they don't believe?

This can be one of the hardest things for Christian grandparents.

We may desperately want our grandchildren to know Jesus, while they may have little or no interest in Christianity. We can't force faith upon them. We can't argue someone into the Kingdom of God. But we can pray.

We can ask God to place people in their lives who will point them towards Him. We can pray that they will encounter Jesus in ways that make sense to them. And we can pray for opportunities to talk about faith when the moment is right.

Most importantly, we can keep loving them. Sometimes our greatest witness is not what we say but the person we become because of our relationship with Jesus.

A 31-day journey

These were some of the reasons we wrote Hear Our Hearts -  a 31 Day Devotional for Grandparents.

We wanted to create something that would help grandparents move from “I ought to pray more for my grandchildren” to actually doing it.

Each day has a short Bible passage, a thought for reflection and prayers. It is not about producing long or complicated prayers, but about creating a simple rhythm of bringing our grandchildren before God.

We called it Hear Our Hearts because prayer is ultimately about bringing the desire of our hearts for our grandchildren to God.

Some days our prayers may be full of joy and thanksgiving. Other days they may be full of concern. Some days we may know exactly what to pray. Other days we may simply say, “Lord, you know them better than I do. Please be with them.”

We were particularly touched when someone told us that the book had helped her father, who had been struggling to pray for his grandchildren following the death of his wife. Using the devotional had helped him rediscover the joy of praying for them.

That reminded us that prayer is not simply another activity to add to a grandparent's busy life. It can become a source of purpose, hope and joy.

A legacy of prayer

We often talk about leaving a legacy for our grandchildren, perhaps family photographs, stories, possessions, memories or an inheritance. But what if one of the greatest legacies we leave is unseen? A legacy of prayer.

We may never know the full impact of our prayers. Our grandchildren may never know that we prayed for them before a particular decision, through a difficult friendship or during a season when their faith seemed fragile. But that doesn't mean those prayers were wasted.

We are not responsible for the outcome. We are simply invited to bring those we love before the God who loves them even more than we do. So why not begin today?

Choose one grandchild. Say their name before God. Thank Him for them. Ask Him to bless them, protect them and draw them closer to Himself. And then listen.

Because prayer isn't just about telling God what we want for our grandchildren. It's also about allowing God to show us how He wants us to love them.

We may never know what God does through our prayers but we can be certain that He hears them.