Grandparenting for Faith

It's always fun to ask people about their memories of their grandparents. All sorts of things pop up. For me, it includes learning to knit, my poppa always slipping a one-pound note into my hand at the end of a visit, and my grandma admonishing me not to bite my nails.

The fascinating thing about these memories is that they influence me even today. I still knit, I learned generosity from my poppa, and even today, if I go to bite my nails, my grandma's ‘no’ rings in my ears! Without ever really trying to, my grandparents shaped me.

Years ago, I ran a Parenting for Faith course at my church. The idea of the course was that parents and carers would learn some simple tools to help them share faith effectively with their children. A couple of grandparents signed up. I knew both of them. They were lovely, capable members of our congregation and seemed to have it all together.

I was shocked, in week two, to find one of these grandmothers in tears. Through the tears, she explained how bad she felt. She said she had let herself and God down because her children weren't following Jesus, and so her grandchildren were far from faith. She blamed herself and didn't know what to do to change things.

It turns out she's not alone. In 2021, Sarah Holmes of Liverpool Hope University undertook some research with Christian grandparents. She asked them what being a Christian grandparent in the UK was like. She discovered that many are confused about their role. Some weren't sure about the boundaries – was it okay to talk about God with their grandchildren? Others talked about not having the confidence to share faith with their grandchildren. Others said they'd like to, but didn't know how to get started.

It's easy to see why this might be the state of affairs. Families have changed. Many grandparents live away from their grandchildren and aren't part of their daily lives. Fewer families go to church. Grandchildren's lives are very different from our own childhoods. Some grandparents feel side-lined or a bit irrelevant. Even faith itself can be a problem.

So what can churches do? When we wrote the book Grandparenting for Faith, we discovered three things that the grandparents in our congregations need. They need hope, they need tools, and they need encouragement.

Hope

Grandparents need the hope that comes from knowing that, just as they are, they can share the truth about God with their grandchildren.

Anecdotal evidence and research suggest that grandparents and grandchildren have a unique bond. Because of this, grandchildren are far more influenced by their grandparents than many of us realise. In one study, nine out of ten teenagers said that their values and behaviours were influenced by their grandparents. That is way more than I had expected.

Grandparents need to know that, just because they are a grandparent, they can share faith as effectively as they share any other value or behaviour. In fact, as we say at Parenting for Faith, if you are grandparenting, you can grandparent for faith.

As churches, let's start sharing this with grandparents. Tell them: God has designed you to have a significant role in your grandchildren's faith journeys! Share stories of grandparents and how they taught you about God. Share stories about the ups and downs of grandparenting for faith. Teach what God says about grandparents and their role. Give them hope.

Tools

Sarah Holmes' research revealed that many Christian grandparents lacked the skills to disciple their grandchildren. They talked about bedtime prayers, going to church, or reading Bible stories – but what about when you're not with your grandchildren?

In many ways, grandparenting for faith is the same as any other sort of grandparenting. You love your grandchildren well and share as much good stuff with them as you can. But it can seem harder with faith. How can you explain to an upset teenager that God can make a difference? How can you encourage grandchildren to read the Bible when you're the only one who cares about that? How can you teach and encourage them to pray?

At Parenting for Faith, we specialise in helping families use their normal parenting skills to share faith with children and young people. In the book Grandparenting for Faith, we have a ‘Grandparents' Toolkit’. These tried-and-tested tools help children and young people understand faith and give them ideas for how they can get to know God and connect with him themselves.

It’s remarkable how quickly things start to change once a grandparent understands what they can do. There's a lovely story of a grandmother who attended a Grandparenting for Faith course. Her only granddaughter lived some way away. Inspired by the course, the grandma decided to send her a copy of a storybook Bible. She also bought a copy for herself. Over the last year, she's been regularly popping a card in the post to the little girl, telling her to ask her mum to read a particular story to her. She adds a comment saying what she loved about that story too.

Now, in a family that doesn’t have faith, that grandma is having conversations with her daughter-in-law about Jesus. Sharing faith doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as sharing and talking about a favourite book.

The tools help grandparents share what they know of God with their grandchildren. We share not just how to choose a Bible for your grandchild, but how to help them see that the God they read about there is the same God today. We explain how you can help grandchildren make the shift from thinking about church as somewhere their grandparents go to seeing it as a place that is powerful, interesting and a possibility for them too. We show how important their stories are, and how to introduce their grandchildren to the power of prayer.

Whatever age or stage your grandchild is at, these tools will help you share faith with them naturally and simply – and powerfully.

Encouragement

I remember when I was a new mum – it was hard! Sleep deprivation, new skills to learn, and a bundle of worries weighed heavily on me for the first few weeks. But then I found my new mums' group, and everything changed. I had a community on the same journey who understood, could offer ideas, and who cared.

The grandparents in your church need the same. Grandparenting for faith can be a tricky journey. There will be ups and downs, as well as glorious stories of breakthrough and joy. There will be grandparents sitting in your churches silently longing for things to be different in their family or wondering how to help. Some will be ashamed or guilty that their children haven't chosen to follow Jesus, yet feel unable to share this – yet there are others who understand.

Let's create spaces for grandparents to talk, share stories and learn together. Tell them about the book Grandparenting for Faith or do the Grandparenting for Faith course together. When you lift the silence and start to talk about grandparents and faith, you'll see the grandparents in your congregation grow in confidence and things start to change.

What an exciting prospect!

To book to attend our Grandparenting for Faith event in November 2026, click here.