All-age or No-age?
Author: Melanie Cave
Summer can be a strange season in church. Key volunteers and even the minister may have time away. Some families with school-aged children may head off on holiday. Children’s groups or midweek services may be cancelled due to low numbers or lack of leaders. For those who remain, it can feel lonely. We still want to gather, but how? Sometimes leaders opt for an all-age service to include everyone during these summer months. And although this may make logistical sense, if your church hasn’t already embedded a culture of intergenerational ministry, these all-age services may miss the mark: cringy or patronising for the few children who come and alienating to older people who really need connection while other activities are suspended over summer. If not done well, ‘all age’ can become ‘no good for any age’. And it can be exhausting and intimidating for the (stand-in) leader who’s possibly not used to leading intergenerationally.
Being intergenerational church is not just about including children in adult worship. It’s not really about actions songs, a children’s talk and fun and games to keep young people engaged, although these might be included. Intergenerational ministry is about intentionally gathering people of different generations to learn, worship, serve and share life together, and it’s not just for children. It’s for everyone – a place to be known, contribute, share and explore. As in practice the various component parts are shorter, less wordy and multi-sensory, it is a more engaging way to do church – helpful for those with dementia, ADHD, dyslexia, neurodiversity, English as a second language, different learning styles – all of us really. The latest studies in education show that although we may feel like we learn a lot from lecture-based learning (the way church is traditionally structured), actually, interactive learning is more effective.[1]
What can we do to make sure all-age summer services work for older people?
If you’re considering intergenerational ministry, it needs to be done well or some people in our churches will find it difficult or alienating. Start by examining and challenging your beliefs about children and older people . Reflect on your expectations of worship. Do you expect to learn or receive from children? Similarly, what are your expectations when engaging with the oldest in your congregation?
Unearth our biases and beliefs
Our society tends to think of children as consumers who need entertaining, blank slates to be educated, or little people who make a lot of noise and need constant supervision. [Some of these ideas about children could also be levelled at seniors, if they need significant care, or are at times forgetful.] Although there is some truth in these ideas, none hold the complete picture. Let’s balance these ideas with a Biblical view:
· The Psalms call children a gift [2] (Psalm127:3). They are beautiful, joy-bringers, who help us engage with fun, play, delight and wonder and remind us of our fragility and dependence on God.
· The Old Testament sees raising children to know God as an important task, not simply for parents, but for the whole community of faith (Deuteronomy 6:5-9). Together we model faith and care for the vulnerable and demonstrate how to know and follow God.
· The Bible shows children as agents of God, hearing God’s voice and being used by him. Think of young Samuel hearing God’s voice, Naaman’s slave girl bravely directing a foreign general to find healing in Israel, and the boy Jesus in the temple, to name just a few.
And it is equally true that the oldest among us are also gifts, still growing in their faith and agents of God in the world. When we think of engaging different generations together in the church, it’s important to unearth our unconscious bias and beliefs:
· If we see them as consumers, we will entertain them.
· If we believe they are blank slates, we won’t expect to learn or receive from them.
· If we think they are a nuisance, we will try to minimise their disruption.
But if we see each person, regardless of age as agents of God, we can value them as equals, expecting to partner with them bringing in the kingdom of God. If we see them as gifts, we will engage with them respectfully, expecting to be blessed through the relationship. If helping others find faith is a holy task, then we will encounter Jesus as we walk alongside children, and older people and find our own faith grows and expands as we explore faith together.
At St Mary’s Church Charnwood, the adults were interviewed about their experience of intergenerational worship. They said that worshipping alongside children has, at times, helped them to grow in their own faith. One explained, ‘Children’s questions add something’, whilst many shared the view that, ‘Children often have such a different perspective to offer. Their ideas and thoughts can be so refreshing and can give older members food for thought’. Another adult told their focus group that they often find themselves learning about the Christian faith from their grandchildren. [3]
In a conversation[4] I had recently with Debbie Thrower of Anna Chaplaincy, we marvelled together at the power of wordless prayers and faith of the very old, even when their bodies or minds were failing, their connection to God was powerful and inspired us.
Have you included older people in discipling young believers? Sharing your hard-won faith victories with others so they can grow can be very rewarding. Are there ways for older people to meaningfully connect with younger people in the service?
There is a type of joy known as ‘confelicity’, pleasure in another person’s happiness. (e.g. watching small children open presents at Christmas). Can you find confelicity in church? Can you sense God’s face shining with joy as you and other generations worship?
Values of Intergenerational Worship
So, it’s far more than people from different generations being in the same room singing songs together. Key values of intergenerational ministry are:
1. Intentionality – we prioritise being together.
2. Respect – we have a high view of each other.
3. Mutuality – we all benefit.
4. Equality –we are all valued equally.
5. Reciprocity – we all give and receive.
Reading those, you might be thinking, ‘Are older people valued as much as children in my church?’ ‘How could I receive spiritually from a 3-year-old?’ ‘Could we really have a service where everyone benefits?’ These are the kind of questions an Intergenerational church asks regularly.
There has been much research and many books written [5] showing that intergenerational worship is not only biblical, but also one of the best ways to pass on faith to the young, while keeping faith alive and fresh in the mature, and for all of us to grow as lifelong disciples. But when intergenerational worship is simplified to a series of activities or styles, while the values that underpin it are not taken on board, it falls short and leaves us disappointed.
If you are in a position of influence
Review the various elements of the all-age service: how are they serving the purpose to include, engage and connect people? Don’t make assumptions: Not all children like action songs or crafts. What are the barriers that prevent people from engaging or connecting? What needs to be added so everyone benefits? How can we hear and value each voice? How can each person contribute something? Can different generations partner up to plan or lead the service?
Ideas to promote intergenerational relationships
· Serve together: pair up older and younger members on your tea and coffee rota, welcome team or sound desk.
· Youth vs retired games competition: create some fun rivalry over table tennis, bowling/skittles, or board games by inviting older adults to a youth night.
· Arrange prayer partners, with the expectation to say hello by name every Sunday and share something that can be prayed for in the week.
· Board games during tea and coffee time: Some people will find it easier to engage in conversation over a game like chutes and ladders or checkers, rather than through small talk.
· Can you eat together? Share breakfast before or lunch after a service, even something as simple as soup and bread or a bring-and-share meal. Food brings us together.
· Playful activities can help to break down barriers between different age groups if they are thoughtfully done. Be wary of activities being gimmicky or babyish, and worse, causing confusion about the true message of the service.
· Trial inventive and playful activities which use all the senses and have an element of novelty. These can be more inclusive and facilitate greater interaction and engagement.
· Encourage multigenerational participation through storytelling and drama.
· Offer choices to the whole congregation. Participation should be encouraged but never obligatory.
If you are going to lead one of these all-age services, address some of the values of intergenerational worship as you introduce each element. For example:
When you introduce discussions around tables or in small groups: ‘We are all at different points in our faith journey. We can all grow and learn from each other. Sometimes we have wisdom to share. Sometimes we have questions? Sometimes we get to receive prayer and encouragement. Sometimes we get to care for others. Please ask your questions, share stories from your life, and truly listen to see where God is at work in the lives of those around you. This is how we help each other grow.’
When you introduce action songs, creative worship or crafts: ‘We often worship God with our voices, through singing and praying, but God also gave us bodies. Sometimes, as we move our bodies to a song or draw, create or work with our hands, we encounter God in a new way. Some of us learn and remember better through pictures and symbols. Others make sense of the world by moving our bodies. Some of us just like to wriggle and move. Engage as much as you are able, because your participation encourages others, and you never know how you might meet with God and even enjoy yourself.’
Still feeling a bit stuck? Help is at hand!
Roots for Churches publish weekly all-age service outlines used by over 8000 churches, including various ways to build relationships between adults and children, read Scripture together and creatively explore and respond to what the Bible is saying. There are illustrations, photos, art and visual prompts, drama scripts, discussions, games, things to make, song suggestions, and sermon starters suitable for all-age talks, and so much more. We follow the lectionary cycle, and our 22-year archive has sessions covering most of the Bible, so you will certainly find resources to match the Bible passage your church has chosen. Our content is available by subscription magazine and on our website. Take out a free trial online to explore our weekly and seasonal content. Or listen to our podcast for more ways to make church engaging for everyone.
Melanie Cave is Managing Director of Roots for Churches. She is based in Loughborough and has led church for over 20 years.
References
[2] Books on Theology of the child
Buckland, Ron Perspectives on Children and the Gospel
Miller-McLemore, Bonnie Let the Children Come
Bunge, Marcia The Child in the Bible
Collier, John Toddling to the Kingdom
Parker, Julie Faith Valuable and Vulnerable
Stollar, Ryan L The Kingdom of Children
[3] https://www.churchofengland.org/sites/default/files/2024-05/ch-2-gff-research-all-age-services-at-st-mary-in-charnwood-lucy-mille.pdf
[4] https://rootsforchurches.podbean.com/e/insights-from-debbie-throwers-anna-chaplaincy/
[5] •Generations Together (Roberto et al)
•Intergenerational Christian Formation (Allen & Ross)
•Engage All Generations (Cory Seibel)
•A Gospel for All Ages (Dave Csinos)
•Being an Intergenerational Church (Farrant & Philip)