Getting One’s Affairs in Order

Getting One’s Affairs in Order is an Essential Part of Flourishing in Later Life.

William Shakespeare wrote of the seven ages of man [or woman], whereas others now speak of the four seasons of life.  My message here is for you who provide such a valuable ministry to ‘seniors’, so, typically, those in the autumn or the winter of life.  God has of course made each one of us unique – we are all different in terms of our circumstances, whether family or work, interests and abilities and indeed health.  But the hope is that each of us is able to enjoy life at whatever stage we are and to be more completely the person He has made us to be.

I guess that part of your role in being with, in conversing with and in encouraging those you get alongside is to enable them to continue (or even to increase) that enjoyment and perhaps also to develop new interests and friendships, that is, living life in all its abundance or fullness (John 10:10).

And part of that will be actively embracing the whole cycle of life from birth through to death.  One of the funny things about death is that, although we all know deep down it is going to happen, we prefer not to talk about it or even to think about it.  That said, it is interesting that the November 2003 Theos Report Love, Grief, and Hope: Emotional Responses to Death and Dying in the UK found that 25% of us think about our own death at least once a week.  Certainly, while we tend to plan for almost everything else in life, whether in terms of work or relationships, hobbies or holidays, the one thing we tend to put to one side is planning for the inevitable.

So this Blog is an attempt to encourage you to help those you serve, as and when opportunity arises, and of course, as appropriate, to encourage them to think about putting in place all the practical stuff with which those who follow, typically members of the family, will have to deal once they are gone.  And which very often comes as a huge shock while having to deal with the devastation of bereavement.

Biblical precedent

But before I get on to the meat of the Blog, I want to point to three passages in the Bible to suggest that this whole issue has Scriptural authority.  See for example David’s wise counsellor Ahithophel who, having betrayed him to follow David’s son Absolom, was outwitted by the priest Hushai and tragically resorted to taking his own life – but not before ‘putting his house in order’ (see 2 Samuel 17:23).  While in one respect Ahithophel’s wisdom had deserted him, the last but one action he took was a mark of that wisdom.

And then there is the Apostle Paul writing to Timothy and encouraging him to urge others to provide for their relatives and especially for their immediate family – in no uncertain terms (see 1 Timothy 5:8).  I take it that this would clearly include making financial and practical provision for them following death.

Supremely, there is the example of Jesus himself who just before he died took tender care of his loving mother by entrusting him to the care of his beloved disciple John (see John 19:26-27).

Three ‘Top Tips’

So what are the things you should encourage people to focus on?  First is the Will.  Here is another statistic: nearly three in five people in the UK do not have a current valid Will.  Without one, both possessions and the responsibility of dealing with them pass in a possibly arbitrary way under the statutory intestacy rules.  How much better to be certain both about:

• appointing as executors the people you trust to take charge of your affairs once you have gone; and then
• providing for those you want to inherit, whether in ‘residue’ (what is left after paying your debts including Inheritance Tax) or in particular possessions, cash or chattels, perhaps to members of the family or friends or charities?

Next comes what are called Lasting Powers of Attorney (LPAs).  We all hope we will avoid the onset of mental incapacity and specifically dementia and die at a ripe old age with all our faculties intact, but the reverse is an increasingly sad fact of life.  What an LPA does is give to one or more trusted individuals the power to take charge of your affairs.  LPAs come in two parts: Property & Financial Affairs and Health & Welfare.  Once made, they are registered with the Office of the Public Guardian for a fee of £82 each and can then be tucked away in a drawer, hopefully never to be needed.  But if they are, then due arrangements have been made.

My third ‘Top Tip’ concerns funeral arrangements.  In my experience of taking funerals over the past ten years of more, huge comfort is given to those who are left behind if clear wishes have been left and so one is not left asking, what would he/she have wanted?  It is something that can be set out in a Will perhaps in summary form, with the details then to be covered in a letter of wishes or entirely left to a letter of wishes which can be changed from time to time.   This might include issues like:

• Cremation or burial?
• Where?
• Who do they want to be involved taking a service?  What should be included in the way of hymns, readings, prayers, tribute and so on?  What about the party afterwards and so on?

Seven Other Points

• Who will look after any dependants, unlikely with seniors to be minor children, though conceivably there might be grandchildren for whom they have responsibility – or indeed relatives even older than they – or perhaps pets?
• Next, relationships.   It is so sensible to make a list with contact details of those who should be notified of the death, starting of course with close family, friends and professional advisers and then moving on to a wider circle of friends, vicar or pastor and so on.  And then more broadly and perhaps more importantly there is the question of quality of relationships.  If one is aware of any rift, especially with someone close, caused by thoughtless words or deeds in the past, it would make sense for this to be put right by forgiveness, whether given or received.
• Then, and it may seem a boring technicality, but there is a rule in England and Wales at least that application for a Death Certificate must be made within five days after death.  Interestingly the rules changed last September.  Wouldn’t it make a lot of sense to have the location of the necessary certificates and information referenced?
• There will be a variety of Digital Assets to be accessed.  Where are the various passwords?  What about the use of a single ‘password manager’?
• Next, is your senior one half of a couple who is financially dependent on the senior?  If so, what then happens with the survivor having to meet daily needs if they are left without sufficient cash which might not be released until probate has been granted, perhaps many months after the death?  Here the time-honoured thing to do is for the two of them to have a joint bank or building society account.  Simply on provision of a death certificate the bank or building society will allow the survivor to continue to draw on the account.
• And then your senior might have various responsibilities, perhaps unlikely now with a business from which they probably have retired, but there could be charities or clubs which they help in managing.  Especially if they take a lead role, are the others involved in the enterprise able to continue without them?  Have clear instructions been left, authorities given and so on?  And then there is the whole question of Inheritance Tax: if payable, where will the cash come from?  Is there a clear record of chargeable gifts made in the previous seven years?
• And finally, it makes sense to draw up a list of personal possessions and keep it updated every year or two.

Conclusions

And so, there you are.  A brief guide to what it has to be said can be quite a complex subject.  But if any of us is brave enough to take the initiative and get our own ‘house’ in order, then it will be a Real Gift to those we leave behind, saving weeks and months of additional and let’s face it, unnecessary pain and heartache.  So we all need to be both wise and compassionate.

* Rev Matthew Hutton DL is the author of Your Last Gift – Getting Your Affairs in Order, a ‘concise and comprehensive’ guide to the whole subject, leading up to two Checklists and five downloadable spreadsheets, also available in paper form: see www.yourlastgiftbook.com for further details and to order the hardback (£19.99) or the digital version (£9.99).